[ENG/RO]KIM HYUN JOONG’s Letter English

Hi everyone, I’m KHJ. It has been awhile since I greeted everyone through letters and frankly I don’t really know how I should raise this matter. Due to recent online heated discussions, I’m really sorry that everyone saw a ‘not-good’ side of me. Even for myself, I’m also tired and sick of it. So I could imagine how everyone felt about it. Henceforth, to prevent any more misunderstandings, I should state my position directly on those few points which I was not able to share previously.During enlistment time the situation was chaotic and I was not able to properly bid farewell to those who love and support me. In the end I enlisted with my head hung low, like a guilty person. It seemed like only yesterday yet I’m already a private first class now! For the past 1 year, while under everyone’s close scrutiny had made me felt uneasy and even to the point of feeling suffocating, it was also a period of time I had to myself. Thanks to comforting words from my training officers, I’ve grown/ matured and gradually becoming healthy again like before. Once again, I want to covey both my gratitude and apologies to everyone. Even though I would like to formally apologize to everyone when this whole matter is finally settled, I hope that there will not be any more misunderstanding, hence I would like to convey the following points to everyone.

Heard news about KHJ refused paternity test. But since enlistment till 12 September, the only news I heard was that the baby had been born, not even news of the delivery. It was from news reports that I found out about the delivery and that i had refused to go for paternity test. I thought such reporting may have surfaced because I have not said a single word about it. Actually I’ve already completed all the necessary info and preparation for the DNA test in the army. I decided to wait till 12 September as I thought the other side (A side) would get in touch with me. I’ve insisted on doing the paternity test as this is the only legal way for me to take responsibility. Although I’m determined and would really like to raise the child, but it is not something that is up to me to decide. Hence, I’m sorry that I could only say I will take the legal responsibility for the child. Even though it may sound like a hypocrite, but for the sake of the child, I would still like to say this. Even now as I write this letter with a trembling hand, becoming a military personnel made my mood even more subtle. Unable to be like other fathers to bless their child when the child is born, my mind kept thinking if the child would resemble me or not. Not being able to be with the child on the precious day of birth, I will forever feel apologetic to the child.

Every night before I sleep I would ask myself 10 times if I’m really prepared and if I know what to do. As custody of the child depends on the Court’s decision, I’m feeling somewhat depressed. The other party (A) had only informed me of the gender of the child but refused to disclose anything on the blood type or the hospital they are in. In addition, they have been lying in order to stop me from trying to approach the child. I may not be a qualified dad but I will definitely take responsibility. As the father of the child, there are many things I would like to say but I decided I won’t do so here as it would not be appropriate. Even though I’m really curious and would like to see the child very much, but I have to endure it now and strive to become an upright father, taking full responsibility for the child.

I sincerely hope that the child will not get exposed no matter where the child is. I’m sorry for the lack of orderliness in this letter and inadequacy in conveying my thoughts. i promise I will return as a more matured and healthy person to greet everyone.



RO:
Salutari tuturor.A trecut ceva  timp de cand v am salutat prin intermediul unei scrisori si sincer nu stiu cum sa vorbesc despre aceasta problema.Imi pare rau ca din cauza recentelor articole online a ti vazut partea mai putin buna a mea.Chiar si eu sunt obosit si satul de toate astea.Deci imi pot imagina cum v ati simtit.Pt a preveni orice alte neintelegeri ar trebui sa mi spun punctul de vedere asupra faptelor care nu le am lamurit mai devreme.

Datorita haosului din timpul  inrolarii nu am putut sa mi i au ramas bun, de la cei care m au iubit si sustinut, asa cum trebuia.Intr un final m am inrolat cu capul in jos ,ca o persoana vinovata.In ultimul an sub stricta supraveghere a tuturor am fost nelinistit chiar si sufocat .
Multumita incurajarilor primite de la ofiterii de  formare,am depasit situatia si sunt la fel de sanatos ca inainte.
Inca odata,vreau sa mi arat recunostinta si sa mi cer scuze tuturor.Cu toate ca  mi as dorii sa pot cere scuze formale tuturor cand totul se va lamurii,sperand ca nu vor mai exista alte neintelegeri , o sa mi spun punctul de vedere asupra unor fapte.
Am auzit ca am refuzat sa fac testul ADN.Dar din ziua inrolarii si pana pe 12 septembrie,singura veste de care am auzit a fost nasterea copilului,nici o alta veste despre el.Din reportaje am auzit  despre nasterea copilului si despre refuzul de a face testul ADN.M am gandit ca aceste articole au aparut pt ca nu am spus nici un cuvant.De fapt am pregatit toate cele necesare in armata pt a face testul ADN .Am decis sa astept pana pe 12 septembrie crezand ca A ma va cauta sa vorbim.Am insistart sa facem testul pt ca asta i unicul mod legal de a mi asuma responsabilitatea.Cu toate ca sunt determinat si mi ar place sa cresc copilul,nu e ceva ce doar eu trebuie sa decid.Imi pare rau sa spun doar ca mi asum responsabilitatea legala fata de copil.Chiar daca suna ipocrit ,de dragul copilului voi continua sa spun asta.Chiar si acum,cand scriu aceasta scrisoare cu mana tremuranda,devenind un membru al armatei ma face sa ma simt mai indemanatic.
Neputand sa felicit ceilalti tati la nasterea copiilor lor,continui sa m a gandesc daca copilul imi va semnana sau nu.Pt ca nu am putut fi alaturi de copil in ziua nasterii ,imi va parea rau intodeauna.

In fiecare noapte inainte sa adorm ,ma intreb de 10 ori daca sunt intr-adevar pregatit si stiu ce am de facut.Sunt deprimat din cauza faptului ca,custodia copilului va depinde de decizia Curtii.'A' m a informat doar despre sexul copilului dar a refuzat sa mi spuna grupa de sange si la ce spital sunt.Au incercat sa ma opreasca sa ma apropii de copil.Nu sunt un tata calificat dar cu siguranta imi voi asuma responsabilitatea.Ca si tata al copilului as avea multe de spus dar am decis sa tac.Cu toate ca sunt foarte curios si mi doresc sa vad copilul atat de mult,trebuie sa indur si sa ma straduiesc sa devin un tata cinsit,asumandu-mi intreaga responsabilitate.

Spre ca ,copilul sa nu fie expus ,oriunde ar fii.Imi cer scuze pt lipsa ordinii din acesta scrisoare .Ma voi intoarce ca o persoana mai matura si mai sanatoasa.